The Banks of the Styx
by 4th of Eleven
Summary: Commander Shepard and Matriarch Benezia meet briefly in the afterlife.


Title: The Banks of the Styx_  
_Fandom: Mass Effect  
Categories: fShepard/Benezia  
Disclaimer: Mass Effect and all characters, locations, ect. remain the property of BioWare. No copyright infringement is intended.  
Summary: Commander Shepard and Matriarch Benezia meet in the afterlife.

* * *

"No, no that can't be." Shepard shook her head, dismissing the Asari woman's words.

She glanced around the dark room. She could hear the murmur of conversations around her, but they were all too soft for her to make out any words. Nor could she see any anyone else through the gloom that surrounded her. There was music playing, the tune hauntingly familiar. She frowned. The only thing she could make out clearly was the Asari sitting in front of her.

"What do you remember last?" The alien woman asked softly.

"I-" She paused, trying to think back. It was hard to remember, a fog seemed to overwhelm everything when she tried to think back-

"I was falling." She whispered, finally calling the memories to mind. She remembered the sound of her breathing echoing in the spacesuit, the only sound breaking the silence as she floated helplessly away from the wreck of the Normandy. The bright white disk of the planet filling the sky above her as she drifted. A red warning light blinking in the corner of her vision, uselessly reminding her that her oxygen supply was almost spent-

"Yes. You fell." The Asari nodded, reaching out a hand comfortingly. Shepard almost flinched as the cold fingers touched her skin. "And then-"

"This is a dream." Shepard shook her head, trying to push away the memories again, of gasping for breath, of her vision darkening as her air supply finally failed. "Hallucinations caused by oxygen deprivation."

The Asari woman was silent, just staring at Shepard. iI'm sorry, Shepard. I'm afraid you're dead./i The Asari's first words to her kept echoing in her head, and there was a sick feeling in her chest as she realised she was finding it harder and harder to dismiss the idea as absurd.

"So who are you, an angel?" Shepard said with forced lightness.

"Hardly." The Asari said, a sad smile briefly flashing across her face. The alien's face flickered, and for a moment, she was a much older woman, a matriarch's headdress obscuring most of her face. Shepard blinked, and when she looked again, the Asari appeared again to be a young maiden.

"Benezia." She whispered in recognition. The Asari tilted her head slightly in acknowledgement.

"It's funny, no-one ever really thinks of themselves as old." The Asari said. "Our mental image of ourselves is always fixed when we're young. And I suppose here, where there is nothing left of us but our minds… well, of course one appears the way one sees oneself."

Shepard glanced around the room. There was still nothing but darkness around her.

"Shouldn't I be seeing my parents or something? Or God? No offense, but you're not who I'd expect."

"Maybe it's not about who you want to see." Benezia shrugged. "Maybe it's about who wanted to see you."

There was no malice in the other woman's words, no hint of anger or resentment. Shepard met her gaze for a moment, before turning away.

"I killed you." She said finally. A cold shiver ran down her spine as she remembered, and for a moment it felt like she was back on Noveria.

"You saved me." Benezia said simply. "It was worse than death, to live like that, with that thing in my mind, turning me against everything I loved. You freed me from that."

Shepard swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. It was almost easier to accept her own death than to believe this woman with tears in her eyes was Matriarch Benezia. The Asari's hands gently clasped Shepard's.

"You let me see my daughter a last time before the end." Benezia finished, her voice almost a whisper. "You don't know how much that means to me."

"The end?" Shepard looked around again trying to see through the darkness surround them. "But if death isn't the end, if there is something more-"

"I don't know how long we're here for." Benezia said softly. "Maybe this is just a brief meeting before we both fade away completely. For myself, I would almost embrace oblivion after what I've done…

And even if I am still here when my little wing's time comes, it wouldn't be the same."

Shepard shivered as Benezia looked at her, sadness in her eyes.

"You've felt it too, haven't you?" Benezia whispered. "The cold. The darkness closing in around you. We left something behind when we died. We're nothing but shadows, echoes of what was and can never be again."

Shepard was silent, trying to find some way to deny what Benezia was saying. She felt tired and hollow. Some tiny part of her was still clinging to hope, trying to convince herself this was just a dream, that any moment now she'd be woken-

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I wish I could have met you properly, in life. To thank you properly. I wish we weren't meeting like this." Benezia rose, her movements graceful as she stood. She bent low, softly kissing Shepard on the forehead. The touch felt like ice.

"You're warm." Benezia whispered, and a moment later, Shepard found herself thrown to the ground, Benezia's arms clutching her in an unbreakable embrace. She struggled, as the Asari overpowered her, a hungry mouth forcing itself against her lips, madness in the alien woman's eyes. There was a flicker, and again the Asari appeared to be the ancient matriarch she'd seen on Noveria. Then she was a middle aged matron, her full breasts pressed tightly against Shepard's body. Memories not her own washed over her, and for a moment, she could see Benezia not as she saw herself, not as she was seen by others, but the true core of her being. A glowing aura surrounded her, flecked with black spots of unimaginable sadness and bright stars of joy. For an instant, Shepard thought she understood everything that had made the Asari woman what she was, a sense of understanding so profound it made her ache-

There was a flash of pain, and Benezia released her. There was an embarrassed look on her face, a fleck of red blood on her lips. Shepard ran a hand tentatively over her own lips and felt the cut where the Asari had bitten her.

Benezia lowered her head in shame.

"The blood." She whispered. "Still warm. The life in you was – too much for me to resist. I was… overwhelmed."

"You're fading." Shepard said, feeling a sudden sense of loss. Horror at the thought that even this brief ghostly existence was ending so quickly. "What's happening?"

"You're still warm. There's still blood beating in your heart." Benezia said, her voice almost inaudible. "This isn't your time."

"Then this was just a dream." Shepard said, relief washing over her.

"For you." Benezia said. Shepard could barely see her any more. She reached out, but her hand just passed through the shadowy form.

"Perhaps we will meet again." Benezia's last words were little more than an echo in her mind. "Perhaps this place is just another transition, and there is light on both sides. If not – you still have my gratitude."

There was a moment of silence, before the darkness and cold around her began to fade. She gasped a sudden need for air overpowering her. Briefly, she opened her eyes, seeing a dark haired human woman beside her. Medical facility, she thought briefly, before falling back to unconsciousness.

When she woke again, she briefly thought the name Benezia, but couldn't remember why any more.


End file.
